"Put some clothes on!"
"Cover it up!"
"You look like a (insert insulting term here)."
"Here you go . . . " *proceeds to place a towel, a sheet, or something concealing over that woman's or that girl's body part(s), without permission, because they are wearing something revealing*.
Please . . . STOP DOING THOSE THINGS! I assure you, if your goal is to encourage someone to dress modestly (honoring God's Word), to uplift someone and help to build up their self-esteem, to encourage them to value their personality and their very essence more, or to inspire them to embrace and love their inner beauty and to make sure that others seek to do so as well: you might do the very opposite of those beautiful things because of your unloving, hurtful behavior! In fact, you might even push that girl or that woman away from going to church, and even away from Jesus Christ. Behaving and speaking in such insensitive, rude, and holier-than-thou manners, you are more likely to do more harm than good.
Correct and Incorrect Approach:
I am someone who is both open to correction and willing to learn. In fact, most people are—if your approach is done lovingly (even if it is sternly) and correctly. Lately, so many people have expressed being hurt and offended by people who proclaim to be Christian. I can relate. Yes, I am a Christian. There will be no Christian-bashing! In fact, everything will be stemming from a place of love—God's love! God has placed it on my heart to address the issue of how we as Christians judge each other, and also the affects of being wrongfully judged. I will be sharing a few of my own personal experiences.
In my teens and in my early twenties, I
dressed really revealing. One day, a woman of God (who really did care about me
and love me) pretty much yelled at me about how revealing I had been dressing. She
had received a warning from God for her to deliver to me: She warned me that
something bad would happen to me if I did not change how I was dressing, as, unbeknownst
to me, men had been looking at me as prey. (The insinuation was that I would be
sexually assaulted. Please note: You are never to blame for
sexual assault. The point was that I was being preyed upon and those
particular predators were drawn to my attire. In hindsight, I am thankful for
her warning.) Although the warning and rebuke were from God, I could not recognize them as being so—all because
of her approach and delivery.
Yelling a revelation at me regarding my
physical appearance was not effective because I was already so used to people
misjudging me: People would judge me solely based on my attire, my physical
appearance in general, my bubbly personality (assuming I was "fake"),
my confidence (assuming I must be arrogant); and some people would even admit
to wrongfully judging me. For example, they would say things like, "I
thought you were going to be conceited, but you're really nice!" Also,
guys would assume that I was open to fornicating because I dressed revealing—just
to find out that I am celibate until marriage.
I was not walking with Jesus Christ the
way I am now, so it was not as easy for me to recognize God's voice and
revelations as His voice and revelations. So, He assigned her to warn me, but
because her delivery was not as it should have been—gentle—God had to go other
routes to get His message across to me. Yes, I eventually changed how I was
choosing to present myself. Over time and patiently, God changed me from the
inside, out. (You can read my testimony here, pictures included: "The
Mind and Attire Connection.")
We will briefly stay on the topic of
revealing attire to further drive the point of gentle correction.
There was a sweet teen girl who had been
dressing pretty revealing to church. Before we continue on: Yes, we are to
dress modestly, this includes in every place of worship (1 Timothy 2:
8-10). However, please see what God's
Word says about His love for us and how we should treat each other (as, after
all, Jesus is our example):
37 However,
those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them. 38 For
I have come down from heaven to do the will of God who sent me, not to do my
own will. 39 And this is the will of God, that I should not
lose even one of all those he has given me, but that I should raise them up at
the last day. 40 For it is my Father’s will that all who see
his Son and believe in him should have eternal life. I will raise them up at
the last day.”
-John 6:37-40
Some people are so quick to see a
person's faults, that they miss their possible best efforts and progress.
Sometimes, a person can really be trying their best to do a thing, but the
moment someone puts them down instead of uplifting them, edifying them, or
complimenting them, they can automatically feel as if they have failed. Take
the time to notice someone's efforts to grow! Take the time to notice a
person's progress! Don't be so self-righteous! You might cause someone to feel
unwelcome, not good enough, or even worse—not loved by God! We as
"Christians" (which means "Christ-like") are supposed to be
representatives of Christ!
The Holy Spirit led me to speak to her privately and lovingly, and in a quiet place. He led me with what He wanted me to
say to her. Instantly, she began to dress modestly to church! Even outside of
church at times! Praise God! God gave her understanding and expressed His love.
Kindness and love go a long way.
Follow God's example:
8 The Lord is compassionate
and merciful,
slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
9 He will not constantly accuse us,
nor remain angry forever.
-Psalm 103:8-9
Did
You Try to Understand Them?
Next, let's discuss misunderstanding
each other, and then not trying to
understand each other's actions, words, or works for the LORD.
I had someone misunderstand my thoughts
and my intentions behind my sharing some of my modeling photos. Here's what I
had on:
They took one look at my photo shoot
and, shortly after, threw a hint at me via this scripture:
30 Charm is
deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be
greatly praised.
-Proverbs 31:30
I assume they thought I was being
arrogant—but little did they know that the photos I had posted were to
encourage women to dress more modestly! God had assigned me to do the
following:
God wanted [to use] me to encourage
modesty in women. He wanted me to model a transitional look (meaning, a look
that was familiar to a more worldly look, except entirely modest)—but for the purpose of inspiring women who dress
immodestly like I once did, to dress more modestly. (You cannot just throw a
loose fitting, fully concealing outfit at a woman and say "cover it
up!" or call her an unkind name and expect her to respect you! Trust me, I know! In essence, I have had those things done to me, and it absolutely did not work.) God wanted me to model the fashion myself, post past and present photos,
and share my experiences in a blog about how immodestly I once dressed; and he
wanted me to share why He changed me and how He changed me—from the inside, out.
When this person seen the whole picture—GOD'S mission for me—they changed their
behavior toward me.
Your Disagreeing Does Not
Equal Their Unrighteousness:
Humbly said, I honestly do not care about what
people think about me, as I understand that I am not validated or authenticated
by anyone but GOD; and as long as I am doing God's will, in every way, I am
content. However, the LORD is leading me to share this, so I will.
Some people might not agree with the
style of music that God has assigned me to produce, as it either does not
always have the traditional "Gospel" or "Contemporary Christian"
music sound, or it just does not fit their taste or what they are used to
listening to or worshipping along with. Why do we sometimes put God and how He
works in a box?
I say these things very humbly and
giving all glory to God: It was GOD Who gave me the ability to produce my own
music. It was GOD Who gave me the lyrics. It was GOD Who gave me the vocal
ability and stretched my vocal range in one day (by miracle) to sing a certain
song on my gospel album. It was GOD Who assigned me the style that He assigned
me. It was GOD Who sent the opportunity literally knocking at my home door to
put my music on the radio to reach who all HE wanted His music to reach! It was
GOD who instructed me to make my gospel album free to download, so that anyone who needed those lyrics and songs
can access them with no problem! It was all GOD. What does all this mean? If
GOD has no problem with His child's work, neither should you. God's ways will
not always make sense to us:
33 Oh, how great are
God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge!
How impossible it is for us to
understand his decisions and his ways!
34 For who can know
the Lord’s thoughts?
Who knows enough to give him advice?
35 And who has given him so much
that he needs to pay it back?
36 For everything
comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory
to him forever! Amen.
-Romans 11:33-36
What most people do not know is that,
these days, every work that I do and
every word that I share for the LORD (including this very blog post), I do and
share prayerfully. I seek GOD'S will,
not my own.
God has made it very clear to me that
not everyone listens to Gospel or Contemporary Christian music—and God
lovingly desires to reach those people as well! Look at what Jesus said:
27 Later, as Jesus
left the town, he saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at his tax collector’s
booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus
said to him. 28 So Levi got up, left everything, and followed
him.
29 Later, Levi held
a banquet in his home with Jesus as the guest of honor. Many of Levi’s fellow
tax collectors and other guests also ate with them. 30 But the
Pharisees and their teachers of religious law complained bitterly to Jesus’
disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with such scum?”
31 Jesus answered
them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick
people do. 32 I have come to call not those who think they are
righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”
-Luke 5:27-32
I must share this, and I say this with a
humble heart: I recently had someone express to me that they would listen to
Christian music more if there were more music out there that reached them how
the music God has given me to share does. This is what God wants! I have not
conformed to the ways of the world, I have just followed the leading of the
Holy Spirit and worked how HE wants me to work, and GOD did the rest. However,
people rarely get to see or hear behind-the-scenes conversations like this.
How
We Can Do Better as Christians and Be Edifying Instead of Condescending:
How can we improve and be the most
loving Christians we could possibly be? Here is another important question: How
can we recognize when someone is not
a true Christian and is, instead, a wolf in sheep's clothing? To make
things as simple as possible, I will speak in first person, on behalf of anyone
who has ever been wrongfully judged or misunderstood. I will also speak to
those who wrongfully judge and do not at least try to understand others:
—My walk with Jesus Christ will not look exactly like your
walk with Jesus Christ.
—Your lack of understanding in what God has called me to do does
not equal my being unrighteousness, a fence-straddler, or backslidden.
—Just because you find my works for God
questionable (or not your taste), that does not mean that God
did not assign me to do it.
—Your lack of understanding in my
Christian walk does not mean that you are wiser, more
righteous, or holier than I am.
—I am not at all perfect, but God
loves me, and He uses me how HE wants to use me, for HIS glory. I am not
here to please man—I am here to please GOD. However, I am here to love you, and as God calls us to do, I do love you.
10 Obviously, I’m
not trying to win the approval of people, but of God.
If pleasing people were
my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.
-Galatians 1:10
If you have an issue with something a
sister or brother in Christ has done for the LORD, instead of automatically
deeming them unrighteousness, judging them, assuming the worst about them, or
talking about them behind their back, please do the following:
—First, humble yourself.
—Ask God about their words or deeds. The Holy Spirit has all the answers; and He will either help you to lovingly deal
with them, He will lovingly deal
with you and your behavior, or God will deal with them Himself.
—Talk to them. (Do not throw hints! That could lead to confusion; and even agitation, sadness, irritation, or anger!) They may be willing
to explain their words or work, what God has called them to do, and why He has
called them to do it that way.
—If you feel led to do so, pray for
them.
If your idea of righteousness hurts
innocent people, turns people away from Jesus Christ, or keeps people away from
Jesus Christ—then you have some praying, reevaluating, and some self-evaluating
to do; and changes through Jesus Christ need to occur.
Remind yourself of what God calls us to
do: Love one another (John
13:34-35). Remind yourself of what love
looks like:
4 Love is patient
and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude.
It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of
being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but
rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up,
never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-7
You can righteously judge me. You can correct me when I need correction.
You can kindly and respectfully ask me about the words or works that I share for
the LORD. You can even rebuke me if God leads you to do so. However, you absolutely
cannot just critique *MY PERSONAL WALK WITH JESUS CHRIST* and think that I
will find that okay. There is only one God, and I only
worship my Heavenly Father.
For the record: This is not a personal
shot at anyone who has done these things to me. I love and forgive all. God is
just leading me to bring attention to this less-than-loving behavior, even if
it is unintentionally done. We need to be aware as well as self-aware. Let’s
work on how we deal with each other. Be humble and do all things in love.
If
You Have Ever Been Hurt by People Who Call Themselves Christians:
First of all, I am so sorry. I totally understand how you feel. I have been too.
However, please understand that it hurts God too to see you hurting. He loves us so
much. Please understand that not all Christians will hurt you. Please
understand that Christians are not perfect; we all make mistakes. This is so
very important: Please do not blame God for the choices and mistakes of
man; we all have free will and we choose how we treat each other. God
is good and loving. Please also understand and always remember this: Not
everyone who calls himself or herself a "Christian" is actually a
Christian! God's Word says this:
The Tree and Its Fruit:
15 “Beware
of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious
wolves. 16 You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by
the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?
17 A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad
fruit. 18 A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree
can’t produce good fruit. 19 So every tree that does not produce
good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. 20 Yes,
just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by
their actions.
-Matthew 7:15-20
Be
True Disciples:
21 “Not
everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. 22 On
judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and
cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ 23 But
I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’
-Matthew 7:21-23
Warning About How We Judge Each Other:
1 “Do not judge
others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat
others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be
judged.
3 “And
why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in
your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me
help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in
your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then
you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.
12 “Do
to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all
that is taught in the law and the prophets.
-Matthew 7:1-5 and verse 12
This
is What God Approves:
23 Again I say,
don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. 24 A
servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to
teach, and be patient with difficult people. 25 Gently instruct
those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and
they will learn the truth. 26 Then they will come to their
senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him
to do whatever he wants.
-2 Timothy 2:23-26
Conclusion:
May the LORD bless you all abundantly. I
love you all, but God loves you best of all. Let's love each other more!
From God, To Me, To You
In Service to The LORD
Love Always,
Charrese Monique
A Little Something Extra:
21 Then Peter came
to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against
me? Seven times?”
22 “No, not seven
times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!
-Matthew 18:21-22
Always forgive. Forgiving does not make a person's wrongs right—it makes you right with the LORD.
Copyright 2019, Charrese Monique
All Rights Reserved.
